


Perception Check

by Corvin



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy has powers, Billy's secret crush, Fix-It, Grieving, M/M, Mom Friend Steve Harrington, Neil Hargrove's A+ Parenting, Oblivious Steve, POV Alternating, Post-Season/Series 03, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Season/Series 03 Spoilers, slightly irregular timeline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 13:31:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19724653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvin/pseuds/Corvin
Summary: Max and Steve got close because he was the only person who said what she needed to hear, and was there for her while she grieved for a brother she barely had.Then everything gets weird when one day Max insists that Billy isn't dead.





	Perception Check

**Author's Note:**

> Hopping on this bandwagon too fast for a proofread because I'm a slut for fix-its.

Max’s head throbbed from all the tears she’d shed before and at the funeral. It was a huge but somber affair, a sea of people from all over town all dressed in black. Neil and her mom had been among them, but Max knew it was to save face. 

They didn’t actually care that they were burying a son. They didn’t care about any of the events that led up to Billy standing between an interdimensional meat monster and Eleven. No one cared that Max’s brother was gone. 

Her friends were sad that she was sad, but she knew they were mostly focused on the loss of Hopper. Max hadn’t spent a lot of time around Hopper, but she did like him. Most days, he seemed like the _cool_ adult who helped save El from being taken away. Max had found herself feeling jealous of El in getting Hopper for a dad. 

Their more recent meetings shed a little more light on his flaws, but Hopper was still a good person, and everyone knew it. 

As for Billy, he wasn’t even a person to them. 

Max scrubbed her face, ignoring when her mom offered a tissue from her purse. 

There was a time, she was convinced, that she would have been happy to have Billy out of her life. She hadn’t gone as far as wishing death on him, but sometimes she wished she would wake up one morning to find that he’d taken off. 

It was weird how half a year could change things so much. Like stepping back to get a wider perspective on a picture, the moment Billy was no longer in her face, Max could tell that something was very wrong. 

He’d stuck to his promise, basically ignoring her and her friends, and as far as she’d heard even Steve. All she had to weather were the silent drives to and from school, where he looked so bored with her existence that he might fall asleep at the wheel. 

That was when Max noticed how distant his eyes got when he wasn’t yelling, or strutting around, or being a general asshole. She couldn’t put her finger on why he seemed so different when they weren’t talking. But it was as though he’d come into sharper focus and she could make out smaller details that had been obscured. 

She didn’t know details about Neil’s abuse, but she knew it was happening. She didn’t know all the things that made Billy sad, but she saw how often his eyes were on the verge of tears. She didn’t know what was causing him so much pain, but she knew her heart sometimes felt like it was breaking when she looked at him. 

They never got close, but Max knew she was the closest person to him. Even after Eleven looked into his mind and saw a series of memories. She still forgot all about him. 

A hand fell on her shoulder, and Max prepared to demand space from her mom. But instead of her tense, worried face, Steve Harrington was standing there. 

He was wearing the same black suit as a lot of the people there. Billy would have left half the buttons open, but Steve had them done up to the throat with the collar held by a clumsy knot in his tie. 

His face was still a mess. His cheeks were wet but he didn’t look embarrassed. His familiar hair was a weird comfort, grounding her thoughts of the past year. Steve stood between her and Billy. Steve doted on the party with snacks, rides, and when he got the job at Scoops Ahoy, free theater trips. 

Dustin was obviously his favorite, but Max knew with everything in her that Steve would stand between any of them and danger, no matter what happened. 

She didn’t want to be angry at him too. 

“Hey,” Steve said quietly, pulling his hand away when Max flinched. 

Her mom and Neil were casting glances over at them, but Steve had a positive reputation that didn’t call for interference. 

Max pressed her lips together, trying to scowl away the sobs working their way up her throat. 

“He was really amazing,” Steve said in an even quieter tone. In front of them, the memorial statue for all the missing bodies was a mess of engraved names with birthdates and sentiments. 

Max couldn’t even find Billy’s name on it. Hopper’s was at the top. 

“Yeah,” Max muttered. “I can’t believe Hop’s really gone.” 

Steve nodded, staring at her hard. “You know,” he continued in a whisper, “I don’t think I saw anyone but El go toe to toe with it.” 

Max’s chest tightened. 

“I can’t believe he threw it off, and got right up in its face like that,” Steve’s voice cracked. Max watched in amazement as tears fell from his eyes. “Billy was really amazing.”

Her mask had been flimsy before, a pathetic imitation of Billy’s poker face, but she’d managed to keep it for days. It shattered, and she crumpled against Steve’s chest. Her cries were more like a choking duck than a crying girl but it didn’t matter. 

“He was a hero,” Steve held her without any complaints about the mess she was making of his shirt. “He saved us.” 

She vaguely noticed when the rest of the party gathered around them, but she chose to keep clinging to Steve. He was the only one who understood. 

Max stayed there until she had nothing left to cry. If her headache had been bad before, it felt as though her skull was about to split open. Lucas said something and Max shook her head despite not catching it. 

It felt like her heart was throwing up. 

“Maxine,” her mom said. She was probably frazzled by the group of mostly boys that were Max’s friends. It occurred to her that Neil might be close to a melt down. This was a big deal, not the fact that Max didn’t have a big brother anymore. “We’re going home now.” 

“I want to stay out,” her voice came out like she’d sandpapered her throat. 

“Honey,” 

Max squeezed closer to Steve, refusing to turn around. He wheezed a little bit and patted her back. 

Will’s mom started talking, but she was a little further away and easy to ignore. She understood what it was like to know the full story in the midst of grieving. With the parents sufficiently distracted, Max sighed, “I’m thirsty.” 

“We can all go back to my house,” Steve offered. 

When Max pulled back to let Steve lead her towards his car, she kept her eyes on the ground. In the corner of her eye, she could see Lucas following at her side. She felt guilty for being angry at him and the rest of them. 

They were all too young to actually deal with what happened. It wasn’t fair to be angry at them for not saving Billy. 

Steve bundled her into the front seat. Max didn’t bother to look at who crowded into the back. She dropped her face into her hands, trying not to cry further. It might actually kill her if the headache got worse. 

The only thing that helped the pain was replaying Steve’s words in her mind: He was a hero. He saved us. 

* * *

Steve had just gotten off his shift at the video store and was going to head home with a stack of videos because Keith wanted him ‘educated’ before he got to name a Staff Pick. 

Robin had called off; she was having a hard time adjusting. Some days, it was almost normal, she called him dingus and rolled her eyes when he said that at least he didn’t like muppets. But the day after the funeral hadn’t been one of those days. 

If he hadn’t lived through the Upside Down for the past two years, Steve would be reeling that everything had changed only five days ago. 

Five days ago there were Russians infiltrating the mall, the Mindflayer melted people to make a body, and more people died. 

He had been in shock for four days while the town came together to plan the massive funeral. Businesses shut down, schools closed, flags were lowered and church bells rang; it was weird and poetic and it left him feeling numb. 

His parents had called, they wouldn’t be able to make it back. Of course, they’d only received a small amount of information that the government offered to people who weren’t there when everything went down. 

On that Friday, every cop whether on-duty or retired had shown up in uniform to bury Hopper. Most people had openly wept; when Steve had looked for Max, saw her face all red and scrunched up, he couldn’t help but notice her dad’s stony expression. 

She never had good things to say about him. Neither did Eleven, when she shared a small amount of what she’d seen in Billy’s head. 

Max was apart of the other kids. He’d walked over to her, saw her head tilted down and even though he knew they weren’t related by blood, she’d reminded him of Billy. 

He remembered the sound of her sobbing over her brother’s body. Steve touched her shoulder and had felt guilty when she flinched. 

Steve had said the first thing he could remember about Billy, it was the picture that would probably be burned into his mind for the rest of his life. The rest had poured out of him once he started on that train of thought. 

Max hugged him hard for half an hour after, and then followed him home with everyone else. Steve felt like he did something right. 

Because of that, Steve spent the night thinking about Billy. He spent his entire shift thinking about Billy. He was thinking about Billy so hard on the drive home that he saw a guy driving a Bug and thought for a minute it was Billy. 

He dragged his feet into his big, empty house, thinking about the fact that he didn’t exchange a single word with Billy. He wouldn’t have even realized Billy was involved before the final showdown if he hadn’t rammed the Todfather into his Camaro. 

They hadn’t talked for a very long time, but for some reason, Steve felt like he should have known. 

It probably wouldn’t have made a difference if he’d been more involved on that end. But maybe he would feel less like he’d failed Billy somehow. 

If nothing else, he could try and be there for Max. 

* * *

The world was even emptier when the Byers and El moved away. 

Most of the party’s shared time was talking to Will. It was weird to play D&D when two of the people weren’t physically there, but she got used to it. 

Nights were unavailable because Mike wanted to talk to El on the phone. Max didn’t care, since she had other places to be. 

Lucas had been jealous at first when Max started going to Steve’s house to avoid going home. She flippantly told him that he could come along if he promised to keep his mouth shut. That hadn’t made it much better. 

When Max showed up at Steve’s house, with Lucas in tow, he had pizza rolls ready for them. And then he sat, listening to every story Max could remember about Billy. 

“I hated it when he went on dates, because he always came home and called them cows or whores,” Max said with her nose wrinkled. Steve and Lucas echoed the look. “But there was something he did before he left. I saw it a couple times, mostly because he thought I wasn’t home.” 

The sight of Billy meticulously looking at himself in the mirror wasn’t particularly new. But it was the first time she saw him bounce, preen, practice certain lines with different eyebrows quirked. Lucas scoffed when she finished, but Steve interjected that it wasn’t ridiculous to psych yourself up. 

“Didn’t think that would be something Billy needed to do, but,” Steve shrugged. He verbally admitted multiple times that he never really knew Billy. It seemed like he legitimately enjoyed getting to know him through Max. 

“You know,” Max said, squishing a pizza roll between her fingers. She preferred them a little bit squished so the gooey insides weren’t lava. “I heard him practicing talking to you once.” 

Steve raised his eyebrows and pointed to himself. 

Max nodded, “his door was closed, but I heard him.” It was one of the best memories she had of him in Hawkins. She hadn’t known who Steve was at the time, but somehow knowing it was him, the memory was even better. 

_Heard you got dumped and turned bitch, Harrington. That true?_

_Plenty of fish in the sea, pretty boy. Might leave some for you._ An annoyed huff. _Plenty of bitches in the sea. Plenty of._

_Give you a few pointers since you’re so pathetic._

_There’s a showing in the park._ A curse, and the sound of Billy’s boot colliding with something. 

Max had crept away after that, too close to laughing. At the time, it had just been hilarious that Billy was such an asshole that talking, insulting, and flirting all sounded super similar. 

“He...practiced that?” Steve asked incredulously. “He actually said that shit out loud and thought it was good enough to literally say to me?” 

“He asked you to go with him when the library showed Some Like It Hot in the park?” Lucas asked. 

“No!” Steve poked the side of his head and Lucas swatted back at him. Max kept up the poking at Lucas, though he looked more appreciative at her attention. 

“In gym, and in the showers,” Steve continued with a pouty look. “He got all over my ass about Nancy.” 

Max stopped poking, and she and Lucas’ heads whipped towards Steve in unison. 

“He was all over your ass in the shower?” Max asked. 

“I will throw you both out!” Steve whined as they dissolved into laughter. “Billy was nicer to me than this!” 

Tears pricked at Max’s eyes, partly from the laughter and partly not. This was different than talking with Lucas on top of that bus a year ago. She was talking about Billy like he was actually her brother. 

“How did that conversation go?” She asked, sneakily wiping her eyes. 

“It’s not flattering...for me,” Steve sighed. But he recounted the interactions he had with Billy while they were still in school together. 

Only a few years of living with him gave Max the appropriate perspective to respond. “He liked you.” Steve laughed, but Max shook her head. “He didn’t treat anyone like that. I think he actually wanted to you to be his friend but…” 

But Billy didn’t know how to be friends with someone. Not for real. 

They all sobered, staring down at the half eaten pizza rolls. 

Then Steve took a deep breath and smiled softly at Max. “I’ve been friends with bigger assholes.” 

Max laughed. 

* * *

Dustin caught wind that Max, and then Lucas, were getting extra time with Steve and immediately grew jealous. When Mike realized that the remaining party was going over to Steve’s house, he followed. 

Steve was baffled, because as often as they made demands of him, they’d never accosted him at his own house. 

Of course, Robin took that as an invitation as well. At least she had more stories about sharing classes with Billy. 

“He was smart?” Max had exclaimed one night. Dustin and Mike still got looks when Billy came up, but Steve had made it clear to them that Max’s healing was the most important thing. “But he got a D on a history paper two months before we moved out here!” 

Robin had shrugged. “Good GPA would get him into the right college. That’s how most of us nerds plan on escaping Hawkins.” 

Max still looked thrown, and Steve seconded that. Billy had seemed like a such a meathead. 

The meetings went on, moving to Dustin’s house when Steve’s parents came home for a couple weeks. 

Steve was on his last hour at the video store when Max came strolling in. She was wearing a winter coat, but her nose was bright red from the chilly December air. Steve knew better than to boop it and call her cute. 

Ugh, it was no wonder Mike had accidentally called him ‘mom’ the other day. 

“Hey,” he waved to her as she approached the counter. “Lookin’ for a flick?” 

“A favor, actually.” Max pulled off her backpack and pulled a catalogue out of it. She held it up, showing a photo spread of some male models. “Lucas wants this jacket.” 

“Do you need money?” 

“No, I have the money. I need a ride.” Max stuck the catalogue back in her bag. “Starcourt doesn’t have a Merry Go Round, but the mall in Woodland does.” 

“Ah, awwwhh,” Steve couldn’t help but coo at how cute it was that she wanted to get Lucas a special Christmas gift. She glared at him for cooing. “Alright, when-” 

“Today,” Max started to redden more. “We’re exchanging gifts tomorrow. I lied and said I got his present last week.” 

“Oh come on,” Steve laughed. “That’s such a guy-move.” 

“Don’t be sexist, be helpful.” 

“Alright, alright,” Steve felt like he earned a hair ruffle, so he ruffled her hair. “I get off in an hour. Want me to come pick you come, or do you want to hang out here?” 

“I’ll hang out.” He knew Max hated going home. 

Keith threw a fit about Max hanging around, but never actually even went as far as telling her to leave. Steve finished off his shift and nodded for Max to follow him. 

Woodland was about forty-five minutes away, but it was a bigger town with a better mall. It was only the late afternoon, so he should be able to get her back home before her parents flipped out. 

They walked inside, and it was a madhouse. Max had to hold onto his sleeve to keep from being jostled away as they waded through the crowd. 

“It’s on the second floor,” Max said, tugging him toward the escalator. “Wait at the food court.” 

“Uh, why?” Steve looked toward the stores on the second floor, trying to spot just how far the food court would be. “You might actually get trampled in here.” 

“Because!” Max stomped her foot a little. She looked embarrassed. 

A slow grin spread across Steve’s face. “Are you getting me a present too?” 

“Shut up, Steve!” 

Steve helped himself another tousle before he surrendered. “Alright, alright, I’ll wait at the food court.” 

They parted ways on the second floor. Steve went to help himself to an Orange Julius before he looked for an open seat toward the edge of the court so Max would have an easier time of finding him. 

It was such a relief to be in a mall without working at Scoops Ahoy. It was amazing just how much the sailor suit threw him off his game. Fortunately, the video store didn’t have the same dress code, and even freshly off work there were plenty of out of town ladies giving him a second look. 

Unlike during the summer, Steve couldn’t picture looking for romance. He didn’t have the attention to give to a girlfriend, and it didn’t feel fair to have a girl around for when he was bored. He didn’t want to be that kind of person anymore. 

After all, he was an adult. With four kids, plus Robin, considering all his responsibilities regarding them. He didn’t mind, it was rewarding. 

He spotted Max before she spotted him. Drink forgotten, Steve practically exploded out of his seat when he saw that Max’s face was red and wet. 

“Max!” he yelled through the crowd, practically elbowing people aside to get to her. “Max, are you okay?” 

She ran toward him the moment she saw him. “I saw him!” she cried, pointing back the way she came. “I saw him, I know I did!” 

“Who?” 

“Billy,” Max stared up at Steve with a desperate look in her eyes. “It was Billy.”

Steve’s heart clenched with sympathy. “Max…” 

“It was!” she grabbed onto his jacket and started pulling on him. “Come on, he’s leaving, we have to catch him.” 

“Max,” Steve put his hands on her shoulders and tried to stay as calm as possible. “I know it’s hard, okay?” 

The moment Max realized he didn’t believe her, her entire countenance when icy. “You don’t know shit!” she snarled. She shoved him hard and took off. Steve yelled her name and ran after her, even though it wasn’t as easy for him to duck around the bodies. 

Max made it all the way outside before he caught up to her. She was panting and looking around frantically with tears running down her face. 

“He was here,” she said faintly. “I know he was.” 

“It’s okay, Max,” Steve whispered. “It’s okay.” 

* * *

Max went home that night and slept in Billy’s bed. 

He’d looked different, shorter hair, facial hair a little more grown in, and wearing a jacket that was too big over a polo shirt, but it was Billy. He hadn’t seen her, and she couldn’t get to him, but she knew what she saw. 

Steve clearly didn’t believe her, but he’d looked as sad as she felt when he drove her home. 

No one else would believe her either. But Max wasn’t going to give up, and she knew there was one person that might be bullied into following up on her sighting. It was an almost painful meeting, but after sufficient threats and spending her meager savings, Murray was on the case. 

It only took a week before Max was storming into the video store. She grabbed Steve’s arm and dragged him into the bathroom. It said a lot about his patience for the party that he let her do it with minimal complaining that he was at work. 

“What’s up, Max?” He asked, crossing his arms. 

Max triumphantly pulled a thick manilla envelope out of her backpack and slammed it against Steve’s chest. 

“Billy’s alive,” she said, proud that her voice barely shook. God knew her legs had needed hours before they were stable enough to carry her there. “He’s in Woodland.”

* * *

Everything burned as he screamed, collapsing back on the ground. Max was blurry over him, saying something that he couldn't understand. 

He gurgled, tried to say he was sorry, but unsure if it came out as words. 

Then everything went ice cold. 

Then everything went dark.

Billy didn't know how long it was like that. It felt like he realized the cessation of everything before he was suddenly aware enough to gasp for breath. 

He shot up, sitting before he realized how stiff his body felt. 

It was still cold, and it was with great relief that he registered the cold as unpleasant. 

Billy wrapped his arms around himself. He was sitting on a metal table, naked but for a white papery sheet. The light was low, but he knew he was sitting in a morgue.

 _Zombie_ came unbidden to his mind and he slowly moved his arms to check his body for stitches or rotting flesh.

He was an ugly pale, and a huge portion of his veins were standing out starkly blue. Unlike his abnormally unmarked torso, there were scars all over his hands and forearms. 

Bitemarks. 

Billy's stomach heaved and he curled into himself. 

The weight of everything he'd done and everything he failed to do crushed him. He pressed his face into his hands with a dry sob. His face felt warm on his palms. 

Somewhere outside the room there was a noise.

It startled Billy into action before he thought of why. He pushed the sheet aside without a care for his nudity and he dropped off the side of the table to hide in the shadow of it. 

He was in a morgue. That meant everyone thought he was dead. And maybe it made him a coward, but the past week, or really the past ten years, made him think maybe it was better that way. 

The noise aside, Billy managed to avoid any staff. It took until he found an office with spare scrubs and lab coat to realize they'd shaved his head. At one time, he’d been so proud of his hair, so vain as he fixed it every morning to show up the golden color and soft curls. He ran his hand over his head, strangely glad that it was all gone. 

One less thing to remind him. 

He dug around the desk, looking for keys or cash or anything that might help him get away. There was a brown paper bag with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich inside. Billy devoured it, the first taste alerting him to the fact that he was ravenous. 

There wasn’t anything else that was useful, aside from out of date sunglasses and a few coins. Billy pocketed it all, since the building was still too dark to wear the sunglasses inside. 

He checked the time on the wall clock. There weren’t any windows that he’d seen so far, but it looked like it was around lunch time. 

Brighter outside was good, he didn’t want to be in the dark, but it also upped the risk of someone seeing him. Not that there was any reason to weigh pros and cons; Billy knew he didn’t want to stay there. 

He kept ducking through doorways, listening intently for anyone that might still be in the building. He managed to steal a pair of loafers that were too small, and snatched some car keys out of a purse that had a VW keychain on them. Billy had murdered people after all, what was a little harmless theft. 

His luck ran out when he got closer to the front. He heard two voices between him and the main doors, talking about a funeral of some kind. Before he could stop himself from listening, Billy overheard the body count left in his wake. 

Thirty people were dead because of him. 

He backed up down the hall as his stomach twisted. It felt like there wasn’t any fluid left in him, but his eyes burned with absent tears. All those people, and for some reason he managed to survive. What a sick joke. 

If his time hadn’t been limited, Billy would have indulged in a longer moment of self loathing. 

Instead he turned around and kept walking. Most buildings, even morgues, had backdoors or fire exits. Even if he set off an alarm, he would have time to go before someone came. 

It said something about how small the town of Hawkins was when he doubled back past the offices and examination rooms and found another exit. It was propped open just enough that Billy could see an ashtray full of cigarette butts. 

There wasn’t anyone outside. A small, undeserved blessing if he ever received one. 

Billy walked out into the sunshine, it felt warm and gentle on his face and he could have cried again. He’d missed the sun, missed standing in the light and pretending for a moment that he was back on the beach in San Diego. 

He saw an orange VW Bug in the far end of the parking lot and went for it first. The key slid in, Billy exhaled and turned it. Just like that he had a getaway car. He put on his sunglasses and slid into the driver’s seat. 

There was a shoe box under his bed with his savings from being a lifeguard. Hopefully he hadn’t been out so long that his room had been ransacked. All he needed was the box and a pair of shoes that didn’t pinch the hell out of his feet. 

Then he would be gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> Only a tiny bit of Billy to start with. You'll pry him psyching himself up to talk to Steve from my cold, dead fingers. I didn't drag the initial part out because for this specific story I'm more excited to write what comes next. 
> 
> And yes, Max kind of hates Murray. Idk how she'd know about it, but I like to think she threatened to tell everyone he gave teenagers alcohol and then listened to them bone.


End file.
